Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Difficult Week

This past week has been really hard for me. Last Friday, December 11, marked 3 years from the day we found out that our firstborn son was no longer with us. On Sunday, December 13 was 3 years from the day our son was born and today...it has been 3 years since we buried our son.

Taylor Benjamin was stillborn at 24.5 weeks due to an unknown health issue that I had. He was absolutely perfect and I know that he is now running around in Heaven playing with his friends or sitting in Jesus' lap.

In a ways, I sometimes feel like Taylor is still with us. Sometimes I see him when I look at Brayden. I think Taylor was a fighter, not in a "I'm going to punch you" fighter, but someone with great heart. He fought hard to live for 24.5 weeks. Brayden is SO very determined and has such a HUGE heart that some of that must must be Taylor's spirit in Brayden.

I also really like to think that he is my friend Beth's little boy's guardian angel. You see, her son Luke was born the same day that Taylor died. Luke was born with a potentially serious health issue that was possibly going to require major surgery, but last year, they found out that the health issue had been completely healed.

As I mourn the baby that I never got to rock to sleep, play with, or experience all of the "firsts", I rejoice in the fact that I have an incredibly cute, handsome, loving little boy in Brayden. God really does know what he is doing because Brayden is exactly the baby that we needed in our lives at this time.

I love you Taylor Benjamin!

Love Mommy

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